Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch by Anne Isaacs

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch by Anne Isaacs, illustrated by Kevin Hawkes

Rating: 4.5 stars

You could hear a pin drop when I read this very wordy picture book to my trio a few days ago.  Storyteller Anne Isaacs writes a fun tall tale about a rich widow ridding herself of suitors. I would never have predicted each of my children would care so much about the story!

And here's a brief synopsis of that story:

In 1870, the widow Tulip Jones inherits 35 million dollars and a ranch at By-Golly Gully, Texas.  She immediately hops the next boat over to America from her native England (she brings "two trunks of tea and her twelve pet tortoises" and three servants that would soon serve as ranch-hands). When the Widow Jones gets there, she and her three ladies-in-waiting soon realize that everything grows bigger in Texas.  "Potatoes are so big it only takes seven of them to make a dozen."  Her turtles grow to the size of thoroughbreds, and she treats them as the speedy steeds they become.

By Golly Gully was so hot that chickens laid hard-boiled eggs,
and lizards hobbled around on stilts to avoid
burning their feet on the ground.

But it's her money, not her green thumb or animal husbandry, that makes men line up for miles to propose to her. Every day she fends them off one at a time, and every night she sits and chats with Charlie, the ranch's baker, and eats the delicious things he makes for her to try.

She comes up with a plan to get rid of the suitors by making her hand in marriage something to be won in an impossible contest.  Meanwhile, back at the ranch, her three ranch hand pals come up with their own plan: to invite a thousand brides to come and take the thousand suitors off of the Widow Jones' hands.

These two plans unfold simultaneously and seamlessly, and my kids were wrapped up in the drama as Anne Isaacs builds up the story in a great, too tall Texas way.  I won't spill all the beans, but you've probably guessed that there were some very entertaining hiccups in each of the plans, and the thousand brides end up scaring away the main bad guys--the Hole in the Pants Gang--because these guys would rather go to jail than get married.

(I did my best not to laugh out loud and then explain why that was so funny on that point while reading to my kids.)

Anyway, the three ranch hands also find husbands so the Widow Jones is left...alone.  Just for the moment, because her baker Charlie has more to offer her than a baked good at the end of her last day of suitors.  He has a diamond ring for her to try.  It's a happy ending after a long, rollicking tale that just feels good to everyone.

Hats off to Anne Isaacs here for writing such a break-the-rules long picture book that really would be less good if it was less wordy.  I'm surprised I like it so much because the story is all about getting hitched, and I think the normal picture book audience is too young to think much about that.  And it's looooong...I'm surprised three year old Kiefer sat through it.

Illustrator Kevin Hawkes might be a big part of the reason he did.  Hawkes is incredible, crazy talented, excelling at making downright impossible things look like they could happen tomorrow morning, if only you were in the right place.  He illustrated one of my favorite holiday books, Santa From Cincinnati, as well as two books I've not reviewed but bought because the illustrations just blew me away (the stories are wonderful, too!): The Library Lion and Velma Gratch and the Way Cool Butterfly.

For me, Isaacs and Hawkes make a fantastic duo.  I'd like to see them pair up again!

Santa from Cincinnati by Judi Barrett

 Santa from Cincinnati by Judi Barrett, illustrated by Kevin Hawkes

Rating: 5 joyful stars

(I know Christmas is over, but...our lights are still up...so...)

One day, I'd like to write children's books.  You'd think I've read enough to know exactly what it takes, right?  On the one hand, yes.  On the other hand, books like Santa from Cincinnati just completely and totally humble me into a non-writing status.  This book is that creative, that impressive, that good.

Judi Barrett, of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs fame, has created a past for Santa Claus in this gem of a book.  Born in Cincinnati to a less famous Mr. and Mrs. Claus, his parents found his unusual name in an unusual way; "S, A, N, T, A" floated around together in their alphabet soup.  He was "jolly and roly-poly and had rosy cheeks from day one."  His toddler years included all the normal things: first steps (while wearing big, black boots), first words (ho, ho, ho), favorite song ("Jingle Bells") and favorite toys (stuffed reindeer).  To look more like his dad, young Santa started wearing a fake (white) beard and mustache.

My favorite [toy] was a stuffed reindeer.
In fact, since I liked it so much. my mother got me several more.

Young Santa and his father spent hours in their basement building toys together, adding to Santa's already big collection.  The toys were soon the subject of much awe and desire; the children of Cincinnati pressed their faces against the little basement windows to watch the man and boy make these toys.  The kids asked if they could have one, and soon Santa had a list that grew longer and longer every day.  One day before his birthday (December 25th) he realized he had way too many toys, so Santa decided to give them away--one to each child on his list.

He put on his red coat and hat, pulled some toys on his sled, and shoved more toys in a giant pillowcase he carried on his back.  Not surprisingly, the night was a huge success!  Santa decided to make it an annual thing.

After college, meeting and marrying the next Mrs. Claus, enlisting a bunch of people to help, and relocating to a bigger and better facility (with central heating), Santa became more efficient by shortening his list by finding out who was naughty and who was nice.  And his reindeer benefit from modern technology--his sleigh is now jet-propelled and thanks to his GPS, they never get lost.

The story would be great on its own, but Kevin Hawkes' illustrations bump it from awesome to incredible.  Each illustration just adds so much!  This is just a book full of joy--that sounds pretty hokey as I type it out, but there is so much joy in the faces of each picture and so much joy in the story that you can't help but feel a little bit of it as you read it to your little ones.

Even the week after the holidays.

I think the only drawback to this great book is that it explains Christmas without any religion--I can't really add much to that because I'm trying to figure out how and what to teach my trio.  But even with that drawback (because you've probably done a better job than me at explaining Christmas), this is truly one of the best holiday books I've ever read.  Thank you once again to Julia, my friend's daughter, for pointing it out to us.

Cowpokes by Caroline Stutson

Cowpokes by Caroline Stutson, illustrated by Kevin Hawkes

Rating: 3.5

A new baby was born into our extended family; his name is Wyatt. So I was in a bit of a cowboy-mood when we strolled into the library last week. This book was standing out from the stacks, on display on the top of the shelves. I had to have it, in honor of baby cowboy Wyatt. We live nowhere near the range, but I sure wish we lived a bit closer, so that a good horse was a required purchase. Sadly, in our area of the country it is not necessary, it's decadent, and not for us. I grew up riding, and the love of horses is still strong!

Of course, I'm trying to pass the interest down to Lorelei, not only so that I can be around horses again and have an excuse to ride and possibly own a horse one day. (When we found out we were having a girl, one of my first thoughts was: Great! I'll ride again!) So I'm always on the prowl for books that will get her excited about riding and horses and all that stuff.

Cowpokes is pretty good. For me, this book does too much; it should focus on one thing--they rhyme of the text or details of the riders in the cattle drive (a la Lili at Ballet) or the characters themselves. But the illustrations save the book itself, as the pictures of the rodeo events and the cattle drive are neat, regardless of how old you are. We probably won't check it out again, but it was fun watching Lorelei pretend that her jump rope was a lasso. I'm glad she wasn't successful in roping one of our weimaraners...that could have been too fun for her, and not so fun for the dogs!