It's Not Fair! by Amy Krouse Rosenthal

It's Not Fair! by Amy Krouse Rosenthal, illustrated by Tom Lichtenheld

Rating: 5 stars

I was worried about checking out this book.  I really didn't want to hear, "IT'S NOT FAIR!" ten times a day for the next, um, 18 years.  Because with three kids, there will be a whole lot of unfairness every hour of every day of every month of every year.  It's practically the only thing I can guarantee my kids!

But I'm such a fan of Amy Krouse Rosenthal and I do so love Tom Lichtenheld (and the other book on which they teamed up, Yes Day, is so great...), I had to give this book a chance.

I'm so glad I did.

Literally, this book is full of simple examples through grand illustrations of what's not fair in a child's world.  My cookie half is smaller.  The crowd clapped louder for someone else.  I'm sick for my own birthday party.  Surely your kids can think of a million other examples of times when it's just not fair--and the solution is not to fix it to make it fair, but to live with that unfairness.  To accept it and move on.

I was reminded of this book on our drive down to the beach yesterday.  I finished Caddie Woodlawn (okay, the fact that I could read while also supervising/entertaining/handing out snacks to three kids five and under makes me pat myself on the back a few times) and teared up towards the end.  Caddie's wise father, who has already had the foresight to "let her run wild with the boys," gives her some very sage words.  Caddie's mother has just punished Caddie and only Caddie for a crime her two brothers also committed.  But her mother singled out Caddie, and she was still stinging from the whip of the switch and of her mother's choice.  Here's what he says:

It's a strange thing, but somehow we expect more of girls than of boys.  It is the sisters and wives and mothers, you know, Caddie, who keep the world sweet and beautiful.  What a rough world it would be if there were only men and boys in it, doing things their rough way!  A woman's task is to teach them gentleness and courtesy and love and kindness.  I'ts a big task, too, Caddie--harder than cutting trees or building mills or damming rivers.  It takes nerve and courage and patience, but good women have those things.  They have them just as much as the men who build bridges and carve roads through wilderness.  A woman's work is something fine and noble to grow up to, just as important as a man's.  But no man could ever do it so well.  I don't want you to be the silly, affected person with fine clothes and manners whom folks sometimes call a lady.  No, that is not what I want for you, my little girl.  I want you to be a woman with a wise and understanding heart, healthy in body and honest in mind.

Even as I read this, at 36, I squirm a little at the unfairness of it.  But I wouldn't want it any other way.  I sure don't feel the need to clue in Lorelei on some of the future "unfairnesses" of being a girl, but it's good for me to be aware of our expectations of her.  I will still let her run as wild as she wants to for a long, long time.  Maybe because I'd like to run wild for a bit longer, too!

It's Not Fair is a good book--a little dangerous one because of that "It's not fair!" catchphrase!--but a good introduction to a big concept that'll surround us and our kids every day.

Good Night, Good Night, Construction Site by Sherri Duskey Rinker, illustrated by Tom Lichtenheld

 Good Night, Good Night, Construction Site by Sherri Duskey Rinker, illustrated by Tom Lichtenheld

Rating: 5 stars

This book made me realize that I must rethink my methods of discipline.  Lorelei and Ben are very good kids who sometimes need to take a few minutes or take a few deep breaths before returning to the fun. But the only thing I really take away from them if they are naughty is one of their two bedtime books.

"One more time and you lose a book!" I'll say.  It seems pretty ludicrous even to type it, but it almost always works.  They really love bedtime books, and I love to end the day this way.  I'm lucky that bedtime is a really nice time of day for us, full of giggles and stories and wrestling-into-pajamas and cozying up to read a book or two or three.

With Ben especially I love this time--he's a cute kid, but when his dragon bath towel is pulled over his head, clean for the first time since waking up...  He's SUPER cute.  And he makes my heart melt.

The other night he chose this book, and as he sat in my lap, wanting one arm around him while the other turned the pages, I realized I can't take this part of the day away.  It'll be gone way too soon.

And this book is a really, really great one, especially for boys whose special talents do not include quieting their body when their body needs to be quieted.  Know any lad like this?  This book is about construction vehicles (you knew that already) who are tough and hard-working by day.  But, when the sun starts to go down, they know it's time to wash up and tuck in.  Take Crane Truck:

Reaching, stretching, lifting high,
He swings the beam into the sky.
He'll set it down right on its mark,
Then off to bed; it's almost dark.

The words in this book are really, really wonderful--sweet and calming.

But the pictures!  Lichtenheld's talent shines.  He somehow manages to make these tough vehicles muscley and brawny by day and then...adorable by night.  Crane Truck holds a little teddy bear in his arms of steel.  Cement Mixer throws a tiny blankie over his big body.  Bulldozer keeps his neighbors awake with his snores.  I love this message to boys: You can be tough, and tender, too.

I bought this book for Ben after we checked it out from the library.  It's a book I want on his shelf for as long as possible, so at the end of each and every day we can focus on only the sweet parts of him, of us, of our day.

Yes Day! by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Tom Lichtenheld

Yes Day! by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Tom Lichtenheld

Rating: 4.5 stars

I'm pretty strict.  Okay, I am actually very strict.  When Lorelei was a toddler I used to say "no" to her requests just to, as I explained to others, "let her practice hearing the word and practice learning to move on without carrying on."

That seems a bit funny now, though...I might also have done it with my second kid.  Oh, and my third, too.

What can I say?  I believe in free will and all, but...not if you're under 3 1/2 feet tall.  In fact, maybe I should get one of those roller-coaster signs: "Must be this high to have an opinion."  When I saw this book by one of my new favorite authors (AND fantastically illustrated by the same guy who did Good Night, Good Night, Construction Site, which I love), I had to grab it.  But I was afraid!  What if this book and its wild ideas poisoned my children with the idea that they could (gasp!) have their way once in a while?!

I decided to take a risk.  Dare devil that I am.

It's a short book that's jam-packed with great illustrations and funny lines.  A little boy explains to the reader that it's his favorite day of the year.  He asks a question (such as "Can I have pizza for breakfast?" or "Can we have a food fight?"); you turn the page and the answer, clearly in the affirmative, is in the very fun, I-want-that-to-happen-to-me-too illustration.  The boy has a satisfied grin on every page.  I can imagine a similar grin on my kiddos...

The last question is "Does this day have to end?" and of course it does.  But only after he gets to stay up late, eat popcorn, and watch a movie with his dad.

VERY cute.

And VERY dangerous, if you'd ask me.  I'm going to sneak this one back to the library after just one or two readings with the big kids before they get any ideas.  And if they ever remember it and, in a moment of weakness, I agree, I'm going to have to start small.  Maybe we could have three yeses granted, like a genie in a bottle.  Or a yes morning.

Or maybe just a yes minute.  Yes, that would be a good start.  Baby steps, right?