Marlene, Marlene, Queen of Mean by Jane Lynch

Marlene, Marlene, Queen of Mean by Jane Lynch, Lara Embry, A.E. Mikesall, illustrated by Tricia Tusa

Random House Kids

Rating: 5 stars

Marlene, Marlene, Queen of Mean will be known in some circles as “Jane Lynch’s picture book.” Jane Lynch, of course, is the actress who plays the biggest bully on television: Sue Sylvester on Glee. But that’s not entirely fair—it’s not just another book by a famous author. Marlene, Marlene, Queen of Mean is a good book in its own right, regardless of its famous author. The story is strong, the message is important, the rhyme sounds great, and the illustrations are fantastic.

Marlene is a little girl with a big, mean streak, who delights in getting her way with her classmates. She pinches, kicks, flicks, throws, punches, and pushes—basically all those things you tell your kids not to do. She gets her power from other kids’ fear. And she delights in it, but after one stunt, Marlene is greedy for more power. She reigns supreme in her school until one boy with a little courage dares to ask one simple question: “Why?”

Freddy wants to know why everyone is so scared of her, especially when only her shadow is large. He wonders why all the kids shrink instead of standing up for themselves. Freddy dares the kids to ask themselves: Is this true? Is Marlene so bad? He doesn’t have any sort of show down or fight with Marlene. In fact, I find his demeanor and stance in Tricia Tusa’s illustrations pretty fascinating and pretty brilliant. He is a relaxed guy who is thinking out loud, simply pointing out how silly it is that everyone is following her orders when they really don’t have to.

Marlene isn’t happy about this, but she proves Freddy right when she does the least bully thing ever: she cries. Conveniently sprinkled into this moment in the story is some magic: her tears melt all the bully-causing anger inside her and Marlene’s anger flies out of her in three giant sneezes. 

While I don’t love this part of the story (because we all know the transformation from mean to kind happens a lot more slowly than a-choo, a-choo, A-CHOO!), I do like how Lynch and her two co-authors point out in the pages afterward how it’s sometimes easier to be mean than to be nice. I especially like these lines in the book:

You see, it’s a breeze to learn how to tease;It’s harder, sometimes, to be decent.

So true! In the end, Marlene ends up a whole lot nicer, but definitely not perfect. The text admits to her being “mostly cured” but there’s a picture of Marlene looking pretty darn delighted as she’s scaring a classmate with a gross bug. Perfect isn’t possible—it doesn’t even exist. So good for Marlene for sneezing out her bully-ness and becoming more decent. I would like to sneeze out some of my imperfections, too…

The fact that a famous author wrote this won’t hurt sales, but parents and teachers will pick this up and read it to their kids because of the fact stated above: it’s a strong story with an important message told in rhyming verse and the illustrations are fantastic.

It's Monday, Mrs. Jolly Bones! by Warren Hanson

It's Monday, Mrs. Jolly Bones! by Warren Hanson, illustrated by Tricia Tusa

Rating: 5 stars

Heaps of people have told me the same thing: "Kate, you think too much."  It's true.  I'm always wondering and analyzing and planning and trying to maximize whatever it is I'm doing.  When Lorelei was born with a furrowed brow of concentration, I worried she inherited the think-too-much gene.  She is so very thoughtful, so content to sit with a book for hours, so happy to concentrate on anything and everything.

Luckily, we girls have Ben and Kiefer in our lives.  They are little kings of silly.  They keep us laughing, like it or not!  Take yesterday: Their nightly ritual of racing around a loop within our house (every house with small children has to have some circular pattern) somehow happened sans clothes.  They first took their shirts off, and then Kiefer wanted to take everything off.  Ben followed his lead.  So, for 15 minutes, I laughed until I cried at the sight of noody-loody joy blurring past me every few seconds.  Hilarious!

What does this parade of skin have to do with books?  Well, I'll tell you!

I'm always up for maximizing time spent reading.  If I'm going to read, either for pleasure myself or with my children, I want to learn something, too!  I'm all for nonfiction, fact-filled books or thought-provoking, lesson-packed books.

But sometimes, it's good to just laugh.  Take a break from all that seriousness and be in the moment and appreciate something that is downright silly (like two little boys running around naked in my house).  It's Monday, Mrs. Jolly Bones! hits that need-for-funny nail right on the head.  Warren Hanson simply gets it RIGHT.  He knows what is funny to kids (and this mom) and he delivers, page after page, with a pattern: normal-suspense-then-funny, normal-suspense-then-funny.

Mrs. Jolly Bones is a woman who, like Hanson's mom, has a set pattern on how she does her housework.  Monday is laundry, Tuesday is weeding, Wednesday is cleaning the house, Thursday is grocery shopping, Friday is baking.  After introducing each new task, Warren explains how she does it in two rhyming lines, and then in the final line of that day's stanza he throws an unexpected flip of silly into the mix, and Mrs. Jones does something hilarious with her housework.  For example:

It's Wednesday, Mrs. Jolly Bones.  It's time to clean the house.
So wear your worn-out overalls.  Put on your oldest blouse.
Sweep all the floors, shake all the rugs, and shine the sing and tub.
Then step into the toilet bowl and give yourself a scrub!

See what I mean?  It's cute and normal but then WHAM she's taking a bath in the toilet (ewwwww!  grosss!)!  The illustrations by Tricia Tusa are fantastic, delightful, and spot-on.

I have to share Saturday; it's my favorite:
It's Saturday, a day for Mrs. Jolly Bones to play.
The food and clothes and tools and brooms have all been put away.
Invite the ladies over.  Share gossip and some tea.
Then clear away the furniture...and wrestle recklessly!

Lorelei especially loved the idea of me inviting my mom-friends over to have tea and then, still in our necklaces and fancy shoes and hats, wrestle!

A delightful book that is a delightful reminder of the healing aspects of a good laugh!