Mustache Baby by Bridget Heos

Mustache Baby by Bridget Heos, illustrated by Joy Ang

Rating: 5 stars

Confession: I have mixed feelings about facial hair trending towards  picture books.  I'm fine with it when dads and pop-pops are concerned, but…babies?! As a woman who carried three babies (separately, thank God), I'm a little grossed out at the thought of one of those babies popping out with a mustache.

But when Mustache Baby showed up on the Children's Choices list, I knew I had to get over my bad self and check it out.

I'm so glad I did.

Mustache Baby gave me and my kids fits of giggles, and I know I appreciated it the most; much of wit and humor requires hours of crummy movies to amass the cultural knowledge to appreciate how mustaches show up in this world. Thanks, Dad, for making sure I was exposed to all those crummy movies!

(And the illustrations by Joy Ang are spot-on--funny without a touch of creepiness. That is no small feat!)

Ok, here's the story:

Baby Billy was born with a mustache.  This was a little alarming to his parents and siblings, but what they began to worry about was whether it'd be a good-guy mustache or a bad-guy mustache.  At first, it was a good-guy mustache. Billy was a noble cowboy who protected his cattle (stuffed animals) and cared for injured animals (replaced stuffing in said stuffed animals).

His good-guy mustache also enabled him to be a ringleader in a circus, a Spanish painter, a sword fighter, and a pilot.  He also spent some weeks as a motorcycle cop, complete with mirror shades, thick 'stache, and inflated sense of cool.

But then…

Billy's mustache grew long, and curled up at the ends. He had a bad-guy mustache.  (Enter shriek here.)

He became: "A cat burglar, a cereal criminal, a train robber so heartless he even stole the tracks."  He terrorized his siblings and the whole neighborhood, with glee.

Sadly for him, his getaway car bumped into his mom after he robbed a bank (his sister's piggy bank).  He was thrown in jail (don't worry folks, just his crib).  He kept time on an etch-a-sketch, and vowed to change his ways.  His mom busted him out of jail just in time for Billy to meet the neighbor's baby,…

who had a full beard.

There is no better book for a facial-hair sporting father who is having a baby, so buy this for him today. Or check it out with your kids and giggle like I did at the story, and marvel at the creativity and humor Heos and Ang poured into this book.